Hi Doctor, My daughter is 2 years and 2 months old and will not poo on the potty or the toilet. She has now started to refuse even sitting on the toilet for wee even though she has been weeing on the toilet for the past 3 months. My question is should I

Some history, being my first child I thought she may've been ready for toilet training around 18 months as she was staying drier and was saying wee or poo after she had done it in her nappy. She would regularly sit on the potty or toilet for wees....but wouldn't poo on the toilet...I persevered for about 3 months and got about 3 poo's on the toilet over this period! Just recently, around 22 months old I decided to go cold on the toilet training and put her back in nappies but left the potty out for her to go to voluntarily if she wanted to - one afternoon (within a week of going cold) Casey took her nappy off voluntarily and wee'd on the potty so I put her back in underwear again - went well for awhile as she was doing poo's in her nappy during sleeps and no wee accidents during wake time. However poo's started again during wake time so have again put her in to nappies, hoping that she will again realise how uncomfortable nappies are - too much confusion for her I know but I can't help but think that she is ready and that we are in a power struggle, she will often tell me she has done wee or poo in her pants with a big smile on her face, it seems she likes my reaction., she will also tell me she needs to wee or poo when we are out and is willing to go to another toilet but will not tell me when we are at home....any recommendations on how to tackle this problem, it definitely seems pyschological!!! And its frustrating!!!

Girls bedwetting (4-10 y) · Asked by Belinda about 1 year ago

Dr Cathrine Answered:

Hi Belinda – this is incredibly frustrating but not that uncommon. The average time it takes children to become toilet trained is anywhere between 3 to 6 months. As children move toward developing daytime continence it is not unusual for them to waver between periods of dryness then return to wetting themselves again. Reintroducing nappies during the day will not help her to achieve daytime continence instead you may like to consider using a reward system whereby she receives a special treat at the end of each day when she hasn’t experienced any ‘accidents’. Pull-Ups are a great substitute as they reduce the stress associated with soiled pants while still giving your daughter the message that she can use the toilet or potty. Some children experience difficulties with poo as a result of constipation – it is worth ruling this out first before you consider other options. If her accidents continue to outway her successes and she appears to lose interest completely then I would certainly think about stopping the process for a while. Successful toilet training can only take place with the voluntary co-operation of your daughter. As you know all too well, battling with a strong-willed toddler inevitably leads to certain failure and lots of frustration.

Regards,
Dr Cathrine

Tags: bed wetting

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