children hold onto their bowel motions for a number of reasons. For some it is a matter of control – this is often the case when other things in their world seem to be out of their control like during times of significant change, beginning a new preschool, the birth of a sibling, or moving house. It is important to transfer the control back to your son so that he feels that it is his decision to do a poo in the toilet. For other children withholding poos can be induced by fear, it can be quite scary to watch something of themselves disappearing down a toilet. You can encourage him to help you empty his poo into the toilet so that he becomes more familiar with the process or wait until he leaves the bathroom before flushing. Encourage your son to sit on the toilet or potty at times when he typically has a bowel motion and offer him a reward when he is successful. Some children need additional incentives beyond praise – sticker charts are good as they are a great visual reminder of their attainments. If this continues it is worth making an appointment with your GP just to make sure he isn’t suffering from constipation a common reason why children are slow to train.

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