Hi Jacquelene, it is very unusual (but not unheard of) for children to wet the bed out of laziness. Developing nighttime continence is not dissimilar to achieving other developmental milestones and as such we tend to see individual variation in the ages at which children achieve this. Boys also tend to be a little slower than girls in achieving nighttime continence. Reward charts are generally discouraged in the management of bedwetting, largely due to the fact that this is considered an unconscious behaviour outside children’s control. It is a little like offering a chronic snorer $1000 to stop snoring; they couldn’t do it no matter how badly they wanted the money! Rewards can certainly be used to encourage positive behaviours such as going to the toilet just before bedtime, or getting up out of bed in the morning and disposing of his DryNites when he wakes, rather than waiting for you to come into his room. The danger in waking him to go to the toilet is that this will not help your son learn to recognise the signals sent to his brain telling him his bladder is full and needs emptying – it may also result in overtiredness (particularly if he is unable to get back to sleep) which will only make it difficult in the long-term for him to wake on his own. It is always tricky when younger siblings achieve nighttime continence first – in these instances it is important to focus on all the things your son does well, explaining that everyone is different and with time he too will become dry. You need to reassure him that you understand this is not his fault and that you and his father are in no way disappointed or angry. If you are at all concerned about his wetting or if he continues to wet once he turns 6 than I would definitely follow this up with your GP.

Regards,
Dr Cathrine

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