Hi Emily, in the vast majority of cases children are completely unaware that they are wetting or have wet the bed. Unfortunately there are a lot of misunderstandings’ surrounding bedwetting and it is not unusual for parents to feel that this is a deliberate behaviour. Have you tried setting your own alarm so that you wake before him, that way you may have a better indicator of whether or not he is in fact lying in bed awake and then wetting or he is wetting his bed when he is still in a semi-state of sleep. While reward systems are generally discouraged in the management of children’s bedwetting you could certainly adopt this approach if you do in fact find his wetting to be deliberate. Before you look into changing this behaviour you first need to think about why it is happening. Deliberate wetting can be a sign of stress or emotional distress so it would certainly be worth talking to him to find out if anything is scaring or upsetting him. If it is still dark in his room of a morning he may be wetting because he is too scared to get out of bed to go to the toilet. With respect to using a reward system, it is important to decide in advance with your son what type of behaviours you would like to encourage and how you will reward these. For example, you could reward him for removing his DryNites and putting them in the bin as soon as he wakes in the morning. Some children respond particularly well to reward charts that can accumulate or be “cashed-in” for a more significant prize or reward. Discuss with him how he would feel if he could get-up in the morning and be dry; help him identify the potential advantages of this. Remind him that you do not expect him to remain dry overnight, as nighttime wetting is something he has no control over, however it is important that he does not wee in the morning when he is awake.

Regards,
Dr Cathrine

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